Who I am hates who I've been

This week. I created a monster. No it wasn't big, green and scary. You can't find it under your bed. Rather, it is blonde, has blue eyes and is on the other side of the computer screen.

I was not a Proverbs 31 woman this week...or anything close to Christ-like. I found myself engulfed in situations I had never faced. I'm the furthest thing from a drama queen but this week I was wearing the crown. I wanted everyone to have pity on me and be in a bad mood like I was. Normally the happiest girl on earth was angered by others smiles and laughter. I found myself angry at my best friend, the boy of my dreams and my parents. Anything any of those people said or did made me cringe. I had NEVER been so hurt or confused. I don't deal well with confrontation so I tried to just get over it..but that only lead to more rage.
This morning I looked in the mirror and saw a monster. I may have looked completely cheerful in my pink a green sundress and bow but I looked like Shrek on the inside. So, for the first time this week I opened my bible. Within five minutes I had my answer. I had completely ignored God this week. When I needed to climb in my Savior's lap and cry my fears out I strayed further away than I ever have. While I was going all around Florence getting advice I should have stuck to what I knew.
The times that straying away from God seems to be the easiest thing is most likely when you need to be sitting on His shoulders.
Xoxoxo,
The girl in a polo and pearls
P.S An old love has sparked in my life! I'll keep you posted!